Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
