idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
