Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Randomize
