It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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