The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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