i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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