I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
