I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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