If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
