I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
