Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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