he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
