i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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