i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
