He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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