I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
