Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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