Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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