my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
