She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
