No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
