just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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