Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
