I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
