I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
