i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
