Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
