I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
and i looked up. we had an audience...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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