Im at strip club and am horny
It's Friday. Sex?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Semen is not good for contacts.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
