She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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