I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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