Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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