that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
