we made out on top of his cat.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The adults are the big ones right?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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