I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
