I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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