last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
