K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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