honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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