You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
