he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
