i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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