You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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