we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
