Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.

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(330): View more from Ohio

So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol

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(707): View more from California

You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom

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(541): View more from Oregon

Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts

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(720): View more from Colorado

What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.

(303): View more from Colorado

First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left

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(718): View more from New York

Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”

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