What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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