You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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