Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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