I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
