somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
